Frustration is FRUSTRATING! Simple ideas to combat frustration.

It’s hard to know what to say or do 

when someone is frustrated!

This emotion gets in the way of progress in school, social encounters and the quality of interactions as a family. Often times, as parents, we understand a reason for being frustrated but agreeing with the frustrated person doesn’t change the problem. It's well, SO FRUSTRATING!!!

So what do you do about frustration when it rears its head in family life? People with learning disabilities feel frustration perhaps more often than their counterparts with out LD. Knowing how to use a couple simple tools will help with the frustration while building life skills and supporting confidence and self-esteem.

           

Always speak the truth: Your child or young adult needs to hear the truth; empty praise or pacifying wont cut it! Praise the effort invested even though the situation may have created frustration.

Don't engage in comparisons: Discourage comparisons with others! We are all individuals on different paths and celebrating that is important. Guiding a young person to use strengths to overcome weaknesses can be a way to focus on the individual instead of comparing to others.

Increase overall understanding of a situation: use the SLOW methodology to remove confusion, hopefully breaking down the frustration.

o   S – Stop: the conversation or action and take 3 breaths! This creates a little space to decide what comes next.

o   L – Look: around and take note of what is happening all around you. Everything that is going on can provide you with information.

o   O – Overview: to create a better understanding of all parts of the situation. How do all the different parts of a situation come together to create the frustrating situation?

o   W - WHAT: Ask the “What” questions to find a path forward. What is important? What do you want to have happen? What does how you are acting have to do with the frustration? What next steps do you need to take?

Create a Frustration signal: Sometimes recognizing you are frustrated is part of the problem! Create a secret signal so a parent can signal that frustration is present. This brings the frustration out in to the open and it can be dealt with.

Another helpful trick is to have a mantra that is repeated to create focus on problem solving instead of letting stress and frustration build. An example could be to use the word “SLOW” to remind you of the steps above.

Frustration is a part of life and people with learning disabilities know this better than most! Use these tips and tricks to increase the feeling of being in control even when frustration is present. 

Let us know how these work for you!

Warmly,

Becky Scott

BScott@TheNavigatorsWay.com

3 Things Parents Can Learn

It's September! As parents we are busy getting kids lined up for school and activities, schedules coordinated for carpools, volunteering in the classroom room, keeping the home front running smoothly and our work life balanced. With the predictable influx of newness the fall brings, we do what ever we can to help things settle into a smooth pattern.

Adding a few simple things to your list will make it all go even more smoothly. Yes! I did say add a few things! These little gems will actually slow your life down. Dig in and take these jewels seriously. Just like you expect your kids to shift into a new pattern, you too can make a few changes and see big impact.

To slow this crazy time down:

•    Listen more. You do not need to have an answer for every question your kids ask! When they ask you a question, return their question with a question. This will shift them into think mode. To often we do the thinking for our kids, hampering their learning and curiosity.  HINT: Half the questions kids ask they already know the answer to. It is empowering for them to answer their own questions. BTW, this works on husbands, too!

•    Watch for opportunities to praise. We know to do this and we try, don’t we? Sometimes, instead of praising, we "nag the negatives" as a result of having too much on our minds. Here is a trick to up the ante on praise and cut back on the  nagging..."pay yourself" to do it!  When you notice yourself giving a really good bit of praise vow to "pay yourself" with a personal treat. When you notice yourself holding back on a "nagging moment", treat yourself again! Prearrange your treat so you’re sure to follow through on the reward.

•    Vow to take two things OFF YOUR LIST each day Yes, off your list! (Feels better already, right?) We all know we are TO BUSY most of the time. By not changing this behavior we are role modeling the insanely busy attitude as normal for our kids. It makes us snippy, less effective and frankly less fulfilled. Is this what we want to model for our kids?

These are three ways you can add time and quality to your life. And this way of “being” has you acting as a better role model for your kids. Enjoy adding these time and sanity savers to your To Do list today!

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

TheNavigatorsWay.com

5 Ways to Play More This Summer!

Most blog posts this year have been about making good decisions, getting ready for testing or reducing fear and anxiety; all issues that many with learning issues can relate to.  Not this post!  This post is about PLAY!  Summer fun!  There is NO AGE LIMIT for play.  It is REALLY good for ALL of us.  In fact, a lot of research has been done on play.  And guess what?  We all, especially our kids, are getting less and less play. This is really awful! 

Play, especially Outdoor Unstructured Play, is critical for important developmental reasons:

• Learning and maintaining the desire and ability to explore.
• Learning and maintaining the ability judge risk taking.
• Development of fine and gross motor skills
• Input of vast amounts of basic knowledge about the natural world.

Research shows playtime is shrinking in kids life due to an earlier and earlier academic focus, excessive screen time (both TV and computers) tired parents, unsafe neighborhood play places and elimination of school recesses.

Darrell Hammond from kaBoom!, a company that creates multi sensory play grounds, says active and balanced play helps kids to thrive. Other experts tell us attention spans increase if playtime is integrated into the learning day and fidgeting can be an indication that there isn’t enough physical activity in a child’s day.

What can you do to encourage outdoor unstructured play? 

First get out of the house and out of their way! Kids will engage in this kind of play naturally. You might hear, “I’m bored” at first. That is A OK! If you let them solve their own dilemma soon they will be engrossed in imaginative play or made up games.

To facilitate play:

• Provide longer periods of playtime – 45 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted play to allow creative and imaginative play to develop.
• Provide a variety of out door play materials beyond what nature provides: water, chalk, clay maybe even mud!
• Don’t squelch risk taking! If there is true danger, by all means intervene. Remember kids LEARN how to take risks and understanding risk taking serves us all well.
• Recognize the value of messy, rough and tumble and nonsense play!
• Take an interest in their play by asking questions and getting involved. Get involved on their level – do no directing! For example put on a funny hat and march around with your kids. Don’t change their play to be your play.

Outdoor play helps our kids learn to be creative and innovative while experimenting with socialization. They are also building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy. This is a lot of value packed activity that has everything to do with playing and nothing to do with academics. 

Enjoy your play filled summer!

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

610-783-5676

The NavigatorsWay.com      

   

Graduation! Prepare for what comes next...

T.S. Eliot in his famous poem The Quartets says we “...arrive where we started and know the place for the first time” and he goes on to say "In my beginning is my ending". Nothing could be truer when it comes to young adults with learning issues graduating from high school. As they venture off to next steps in the world, they begin anew. Although this path is new, many steps they will take are familiar.

Because of the rigor it took to graduate from High School, they are well on their way to being successful with a new set of challenges. No matter what is next for your young adult, a few steps properly taken at this momentous time can preserve options and smooth the road later.

And... here is fair warning about a few obstacles as your kids with learning issues venture out into the world! There is a tendency to engage in what I call “Hope-a-Hope-a”: to believe a learning issue is understood and no longer a challenge. In essence, there can be a little feeling deep down inside that says “I have graduated from my learning issue”! This is just not true! What is guaranteed to happen, however, is that new experiences with their learning issue will arise. 

Summary of Performance 

IDEA, the legislation that covers kids with learning issues while in primary and secondary schools, requires that a local education agency provide a summary of the child’s academic achievement and functional performance. Completing this is an important step to take on making a good start with what ever new beginning the student is embarking upon. This Summary of Performance (SOP) should include recommendations on how to assist the child in meeting post-secondary goals. Creating a summary of their achievement and performance at graduation can help with educational, work and other options later in life.

What goes into a (SOP) - Summary of Performance

The SOP should contain the following information to make it as usable as possible in the future.

·      Background Information    This section requests that copies of the most recent formal and informal assessments that document the child’s learning issues be included.

·      Students Post secondary Goals   These goals should indicate the post high school environment the student has plans of transitioning to upon completion of high school.

·      Summary of Performance This section has three critical areas:

o   Cognitive

o   Academic

o   Functional

The student’s present level of performance in each area should be addressed as well as modifications, accommodations and assistive technology used.

·      Recommendations to assist the student in meeting Post Secondary Goals   A description of essential accommodations, assistive technology and support services the student will need to access their post secondary goals.

·      Student Input Student input to these reports is essential to its clarity for both the student and those that will use the report in the future. The student may fill this section out independently or through a student interview. 

How Do I Get Started on an SOP?

A template for the SOP can be downloaded from the LDA website at www.ldamerica.org It is available to be freely copied or adapted for educational purposes. Hats off to the National Transition Team for making this available for all!

Take a moment in the midst of your graduation celebrations to plan for the future for your student with learning disabilities. It is just plain smart to request a thorough SOP from your school as a parting “gift”.  It will prove useful in the future!

Warmly,

Becky

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

TheNavigatorsWay.com