Goal Setting 2015! On-Ramp to Success

What would January be with out goals? Most people re-do their goals in January.

 How do you engage in the sticky job of helping your children engage in goals that will be good for them? Looming large in this activity is the knowledge that setting a goal for someone else is a recipe for disaster!

Research comes to the rescue in this case. Taking a look at the latest research could improve the odds of you helping your child set goals that they actively engage in. Carol Dweck, Ph.D. and her approachable book Succeed – How we Can Reach Our Goals, It is written for everyone from an entrepreneur to a stay at home mom. All readers will leave with insights to their goal setting process as well as helping others set attainable goals.

Here are a few choice suggestions to consider when helping your kids set goals.

• Own the goal: Instead of assigning a goal, give your child several options to choose from. The act of choosing will add to their understanding of the value and rational of the goal itself. This deeper understanding increases ownership of the journey and the results. You structure goals that will be beneficial and let your child engage the goals that speak to them.

• Make it a “Get Better” goal: Help to frame a goal so it is seen in an “I will Get Better at this” verses “Be Better than others” framework. Your child will focus on self-improvement rather than comparison and that helps with motivation and perseverance among other things.

• Make it Personal: Use the right triggers to unconsciously or consciously motivate a child to work steadily toward a goal. This can come in the form of an agreed upon reward or a celebration around something intrinsic to the completion of the goal.

Success is a determining factor in Self Confidence and sustained Motivation. Creating success comes from a many little steps, goal setting being one, as it directs the child’s attention to worthy behavior in pursuit of a longer term desire. Thoughtful attention applied to goal setting is an important step in helping our children experience success while they increase their capacity to manage themselves well in the world.

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

TheNavigatorsWay.com

End of Year Testing - It's Hard!

I spoke with a mom last week about the emotional “ramp up” her daughter was experiencing with learning issues and testing. It was a painful experience for this mom to watch, the family to endure and the daughter to live through. 

This is the time of year assessments come in every flavor imaginable: SAT’s, ACT’s, AP’s, cumulative final exams and so on. For many of our kids with learning issues, this is a tense time. With accommodations the “playing field” can be leveled to a large degree, but anyway you slice it, testing is hard for most who experience learning issues.

Strong Self Esteem Helps

How do we help our kids build self-esteem so that no test holds their emotional future hostage? First, as parents you can help your student build strong organization skills and good study patterns. This will go a long way to maintaining self-esteem. If a “tune up” is needed in this area, seek out resources such as a coach or tutor to put these important skills in place.

Parental Support During Testing

What can parents do during test time to make a difference? Here are some easy support activities for parents to engage in during testing taking season. Many can also be done through out the year to build resilience for the “push times”.

•      Encourage the Use of Strengths.  When studying for a test, have your student learn in the best way possible for them. Is this a time for flash cards or an oral exercise? Knowing your best learning approach is key!

•      Praise the Effort, NOT the Result.  Many parents have difficulty with this.  Challenges can be very demotivating a students work is only valued for the end result. What would be different if your student got used to praise for trying hard?
•      Encourage Study Breaks AND Brain Breaks! Help your student do something different, but active, during a break:  a puzzle, cook something or take a walk. Switching off your brain, as when watching TV, is much less productive.

•      Slow Down the Learning.   Draw parallels with lessons in other areas in your student’s life. The cross referencing of learning and experiences forces the brain to work with material in ways that will help with memory.

•      Pay Attention to Your Student.   At this time of year, tensions can run high. A sure way to lower those tensions is to help your student feel listened to. If your student needs to talk, put down what you are doing and look them straight in the eyes! This simple act of really being listened to will lower tension levels even though it has nothing to do with the learning at hand

Signs of Worry

As parents we want to know when we should step in. Here are few key times to press the pause button and check in with your student to see if testing has become to much.

•      Your student is self assessing with numerous negative comments directed toward themselves such as “I’m so stupid.”

•      Loosing interest in friends, family and activities in a way that is withdrawn from otherwise normal activities.

•      Grades are lower with an apparent lack of concern.

A steady attitude with positive reinforcement for your student will go a long way to helping them get through this test taking time of year. Keep the focus on your beautiful child who, under difficult circumstances, is doing their best. Your constant support, no matter what that “best” is that shows up, is critical.  Honoring the effort, and the human that is putting forth the effort, is the best starting point for any parent!

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

BScott@TheNavigatorsWay.com

TheNavigatorsWay.com