Using Imaginary Play with Your Child

Recently I’ve been sharing some of the skills involved in filial therapy, including structuring and empathic listening. Today we’ll take a look at how imaginary play helps children learn and grow, and how playing with your child can strongly benefit your relationship.

What is Imaginary Play?

Imaginary play occurs when a child asks you to enact a role in their play, much like a director would ask of an actor in the theater. When a child invites you to take on an imaginary role with them, they are engaging you in a very active process. Whereas empathic listening involves reflections of the child’s feelings from an observational standpoint, imaginary play is all about participation.

There are Several Ways to Take on Such a Role: 

1. One option is to ask the child what they’d like to see in the role. For example, if the child assigns you the role of teacher, you might ask if you’re a strict teacher or a relaxed teacher.
2. Another option is to play the role however you feel. In this example, you might start off as a relaxed teacher and then become strict (or introduce another character to the play).
3. In Filial Therapy, the suggestion is to read the child’s tone and guess what they’re looking for, trusting that they will tell you if you are wrong. For example, you might begin as a teacher giving directions in a neutral tone, and the child may then instruct or direct you to, “Be mean!” or, “Pretend you’re really nice.” 

Why it’s Important to Consider These Factors or Play a Certain Way?

In everyday life, play can be flexible and dynamic, with both parties contributing to the story line. However, if your goal is to better understand and connect with your child’s concerns and issues, you may want to give option 3 a try. When you’re able to play the character the way the child directs, you’ll have a better chance at relating to your child’s needs and helping him or her work through any questions or situations with which they may need help.

How Can Imaginary Play Help Kids?

Imaginary Play allows the child to try out different ways of acting and to take another’s perspective. It allows the child to take risks and within the confines of a safe environment to help develop a sense of self. If you’re able to respond to your child’s wishes for the play, you’ll likely find that your child will look to connect with you as well.

Emily Herber McLean, LPC is a child and family therapist at The Center for Psychological Services. To learn more about her practice, visit www.centerpsych.com.

5 Ways to Play More This Summer!

Most blog posts this year have been about making good decisions, getting ready for testing or reducing fear and anxiety; all issues that many with learning issues can relate to.  Not this post!  This post is about PLAY!  Summer fun!  There is NO AGE LIMIT for play.  It is REALLY good for ALL of us.  In fact, a lot of research has been done on play.  And guess what?  We all, especially our kids, are getting less and less play. This is really awful! 

Play, especially Outdoor Unstructured Play, is critical for important developmental reasons:

• Learning and maintaining the desire and ability to explore.
• Learning and maintaining the ability judge risk taking.
• Development of fine and gross motor skills
• Input of vast amounts of basic knowledge about the natural world.

Research shows playtime is shrinking in kids life due to an earlier and earlier academic focus, excessive screen time (both TV and computers) tired parents, unsafe neighborhood play places and elimination of school recesses.

Darrell Hammond from kaBoom!, a company that creates multi sensory play grounds, says active and balanced play helps kids to thrive. Other experts tell us attention spans increase if playtime is integrated into the learning day and fidgeting can be an indication that there isn’t enough physical activity in a child’s day.

What can you do to encourage outdoor unstructured play? 

First get out of the house and out of their way! Kids will engage in this kind of play naturally. You might hear, “I’m bored” at first. That is A OK! If you let them solve their own dilemma soon they will be engrossed in imaginative play or made up games.

To facilitate play:

• Provide longer periods of playtime – 45 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted play to allow creative and imaginative play to develop.
• Provide a variety of out door play materials beyond what nature provides: water, chalk, clay maybe even mud!
• Don’t squelch risk taking! If there is true danger, by all means intervene. Remember kids LEARN how to take risks and understanding risk taking serves us all well.
• Recognize the value of messy, rough and tumble and nonsense play!
• Take an interest in their play by asking questions and getting involved. Get involved on their level – do no directing! For example put on a funny hat and march around with your kids. Don’t change their play to be your play.

Outdoor play helps our kids learn to be creative and innovative while experimenting with socialization. They are also building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy. This is a lot of value packed activity that has everything to do with playing and nothing to do with academics. 

Enjoy your play filled summer!

Parents, do you have questions raising your child with learning issues? You can raise confident capable kids despite learning issues. Reach out for answers to your most perplexing questions today!

Becky Scott

610-783-5676

The NavigatorsWay.com      

   

The Top 4 Ways Kids Learn through Play

As a play therapist, one of the most common questions I hear from parents is, “How does play help my child?” The truth is that there are so many ways children learn through play that it would be difficult to list them all! Here are the top 4 ways children learn through play:

1. Using all Senses to Explore: 
When a child engages in play, they eagerly explore their world in a multifaceted way. If you’ve seen a child with a new toy, you’ve seen this discovery process. Typically, the child visually inspects a toy while using their hands to feel the object. In younger children, the toy commonly enters the mouth for a taste as well. The toy may be hit to hear what sound it can make. All of these experiments provide information for the child to take in about the toy and its potential for different uses. 

2. Accessing Imagination: 
When children play pretend, they learn what it is like to take on a different persona and imagine how it might feel to be someone else.  This is key for building empathy. They may explore what it might be like to be a chef, a doctor, a teacher, a parent, or another role. These experiences give them the opportunity to develop their own self-concept.  In addition, it allows them to see alternate paths for themselves.

3. Problem-Solving on their own Terms: 
During play, a child will likely encounter problems within the activity or around the logistics of play. For example, how do you build a bridge out of blocks that will connect the couch with the coffee table that will also support the people that need to cross? Allowing space for a child to solve his or her own problems provides tools for doing so in other situations and promotes self-esteem and independence. 

4. Experiencing Social Cues to Build Skills: 
Children playing together will inevitably create times of harmony and times of chaos. As children navigate the play, they learn how to share toys, take turns, experience disputes, and resolve the conflict. Each action will have a reaction, and when a child is motivated to continue playing with their friend they learn that their decisions and behaviors will impact how long they are able to play. Although children sometimes benefit from adult input (especially guiding questions that help them resolve the situation rather than telling them what to do), children are generally able to create their own resolutions, learning important social skills in the process.

The next time your child is stuck, consider what elements of play could be infused to improve their learning. Would a multi-sensory approach allow for better understanding of the problem? Would playing pretend improve their understanding of the assignment? Find regular times to include play in your routine and see how your child responds.

Best, Emily

Emily Herber is a child and family therapist at the Center for Psychological Services.